The first day....

This is the first day of the rest of my life.
I've been a single Mum for thirteen years. Two of my kids are now at university studying law/science and the other, engineering. Last child is in year eleven. All I want from my life is to be able to support him so that he maintains the effort to get into the course that he wants to do. It is probably going to be law/arts. He likes learning japanese and ancient history over the science subjects although he is pretty good with physics, chemistry and maths.
The 'system' is pressuring me to get a job. I am poor. I'm not afraid of work, but I don't like getting so tired from cleaning houses that I'm grumpy and don't feel like getting dinner. I do art and try to sell my cards and fridge magnets. I pick up and drop off from school. I'm around during the holidays and on teacher development days. These things are important because my kids know that they are not alone in their quest to reach their full potential.
I am considering doing a course for looking after the aged. After all, I did do an amount of nursing in my younger days. If I did that course then registered with an agency then I could choose to work night shift on the weekends. I have been moderately enthusiastic about that plan and will suggest it to my Job Network interviewer today. The only problem with that is if I go off my benefit then I won't be entitled to subsidised dental treatment. My son is midway through having the braces on his teeth replaced with a double set. He has a strong bottom jaw and has been enduring orthodontic treatment since primary school. He suggested that when his top braces come off he doesn't bother with the double set. I'm not sure myself whether he needs them to stop the teeth of the bottom jaw creeping in front of the top teeth. I also need four crowns and the preliminaries have been done for those. The fillings will last a few weeks, but if they crack or break then they will need to be re-done and that costs hundreds of dollars. Students will do the crowns if I can be fitted into their busy study schedule. I may not get them on until next year. If I need to go out to work I will no longer be eligible, I'm guessing, to have my treatment completed. My estimate is sixteen thousand dollars by today's prices at a dentist, to get our work completed. I'd be lucky to make that in a year.

So, back to my story....As a child we had to do things persectly first time, without any practise. We had to be perfect or get shouted at. We had to just do things and know how to do things.
A child must get on a bike and ride it. Just do it or risk a belting.
A child is given a jigsaw puzzle and Mum stands over her, shouting the girls name in fury as the girl tries to put a piece in. Mum snatches it. Shakely she reaches for another piece. She tries a spot, again it is wrong. Mum screams at her. She moves the piece over the puzzle, tries a spot; she has chosen in the wrong spot. The little girl is shaking and tears are beginning to well up and she didn't want to pick up another piece. Mum was calling her stupid and building herself up into a froth of hatred towards the girl.
A small child is called to his Dad who is seated and the Dad calmly asks the boy if he knows what he did wrong and why his is going to get a beating, and the obedient little boy nods 'yes' fearfully.
The Dad stands up; towering over the boy he holds the boy by the shoulder, Dad raises his arm then slams his open hand into the boys buttocks and upper legs and the boy is bending backwards under the onslaught. Other family members are witness but say nothing. The boy is crying. He is let go and runs off.
A little girl is sitting in a high chair, tears streaming down her face, choking and sobbing and her Dad screaming in her ear and holding her jaw closed with both hands yelling "Eat it. Eat it!" Food dribbles from the corner or her mouth as she tries to swallow something she finds gross.
A ten year old girl is standing in the bathroom without her pants, holding up her top so that her brothers, aunts, uncles, who are invited, can look and comment on the premature arrival of one pre-pubescent pubic hair.
This was our upbringing.