Holidays

Its school holidays in Perth. I'm going to a party tonight. yesterday a bought flowers and wine. some of the flowers are for me, and the wine too; My birthday and my friends birthday. I packaged up some soap and some cards, both made by me. I'm looking forward to tonight.

If my ex-boyfriend rings I should say " You and her are a match made in heaven. Here is my blessing."

I should say this and not be taunted by them being together and him denying it.
Anyway, I'll always be involved with my kids. I care about them and would run to them if they need me when they are grown-up. I like being with them, making sure they are ok.

Maybe I should consider life without a partner.



I have been cleaning. I picked up tips on how to clean from womens chat and books, since it wasn't done very much at home when I was growing up. I drizzle bleach around the rim of the toilet and onto the tiles in the bath/shower. The toilet is old and some brown stains never go away. I use bleach to clean the white lino of the kitchen floor. Then I mop it with water.

From one ex-boyfriend, of Greek descent, I learnt a really good way of doing the dishes. I put washing-up liquid onto a sponge, and using it I soap up all the plates and glasses and cutlery. Then I rinse them under hot water and fill the sink at the same time. Then I soak more dishes in there, rinse them under running water over the adjoining, smaller sink. Then I get sick of that job and leave the rest to soak until I make a cup of tea later, then I do a few more while the kettle is boiling.

The sink is always full of water gone cold with scum on the top and the smaller sink has dishes piled in that too, the plug hole is slimy with old food and the stainless steel is dull with grime.

I wash some dishes at least once a day, more times usually, but can never get to the end of it. If we have a party though, I clean up the place. The vents high up in a long wall facing the kitchen and lounge are very dark with dust. I must clean them if we ever have a party again.


We have an intantaneous , small gas heater outside the bathroom. I don't turn the kitchen taps on when someone is in the shower, or allow the washing machine to run. The cold or the hot water pressure can't cope with two outlets at once going.





My story - Back in my twenties, while working, I suffered from huge, chronic anxiety and never ending feelings of inadequacy. Going to work at any job I'd bluff out some confidence though. I would either verbally attack fellow workers, especially if they tried to 'boss' me, or I would keep very quiet and not relate with anyone. I would try to work to the best of my ability, even if my hands were shaking as I served people in a restaurant, and I'd quickly re-wash the sheets if I dropped them in the red sand of the outback. But I always took pride in the fact that I had a job. After a few months each time I'd move on. I'd always find another job in another town then plan my next move.